LIFE CYCLES - SURVIVING YOUR MID LIFE CRISIS
By Rhonnda Fritz April 2008 Copyright 2008-2010
By now many readers will know that as well as being an Astrologer, I am also a Business and Personal Coach and Therapist. In this capacity, I regularly see clients, both male and female, who suddenly reach crisis points in their lives. By the time I see them, they have usually been trying to deal with it for quite some time. In my practice, I use a combination of alternative therapies such as Time Line Therapy(TM), Hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) together with astrology to assist my clients to get back the lives they want to live. Astrology gives me an enormous insight into what is going on behind the scenes and as a result, I am in a far better position to clear up the issues in a shorter period of time with permanent results.
This quarter I’m returning to the issue of Cycles in Astrology and the crisis points that occur for people as a result. I have previously written about the first major crisis that occurs around the age of 29, which Astrologers know as the Saturn Return. This quarter I’m addressing the crisis point that occurs around 39-42. Over the last couple of months, I have had a number of clients who are in their late thirties to early 40s come to me for help in understanding what is happening to them. Although they come to me to deal with different issues, there is a common theme underlying where they are at and how they are feeling. That theme is that they have reached a point where what they have been doing in their life, whether it be in the work arena, relationship arena, their spiritual and personal development arena or their health and fitness arena, just isn’t working effectively for them anymore and they want to change it and find a new direction.
As an astrologer, I know that all these people have reached a major cycle in their life. Astrology clearly shows us the cycles that everybody goes through throughout their life and gives the timing for when these major cycles will occur. Most of these crisis points can be traced to cycles in the natal astrology charts or by transits of the outer planets of Jupiter, Saturn, Chiron, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto to the natal chart. Even when a crisis has been triggered by a significant emotional and traumatic event in their life, the issue can always be found in the natal chart.
Many people around this age brush the trials of this period off as a midlife crisis. This is a classic time when long-term marriages suddenly come unstuck and people make what seem like crazy decisions with their life. You know, the classic Hollywood movie stereotype male of this age who has a successful business, who seemingly for no reason at all suddenly has an affair with his leggy blonde personal assistant, buys a red sports car and leaves the wife and kids to “find himself”. It is not only men who go through this “crisis point” in their life. A new breed of female is now part of our folklore and that is the middle aged woman who seeks out younger men. They are gorgeous talented women who know what they want and won't settle for anything less than getting it. These women are exciting and full of life and the younger men adore them. These women are known as Cougars. For them the midlife crisis is about breaking out of their old lifestyle and becoming someone different.
Everybody goes through it and everybody’s experience of the journey through this period is different. Many people do leave relationships, but others change careers, move house, cities or even countries. Some people drop out of the rat race at this time and seek out a seachange or a treechange – anything to break the monotony that has become life for them. For anyone who is in a relationship prior to this period, it is their partner who will experience the rollercoaster ride as they desperately try to understand what is happening and endeavour to navigate the emotional minefield.
For those of you who are the same age as your partner and you’ve hit the midlife years, then give each other some room because you are both changing and in many cases you will need to get to know each other all over again. For those of you a couple of years apart in age, life can become a little difficult as first one of you suddenly changes and goes through the midlife tunnel, then just as they emerge on the other side, the other partner enters the tunnel and the drama begins all over again. Often relationships, whether they be between romantic partners or friends, just don’t survive this long period of stress. But if you realise and understand that this is a part of the midlife process, and support each other on the journey, relationships can be strengthened and taken to a whole new level.
So what is the mid life crisis and who exactly is being affected now and in the not too distant future? The period begins with Pluto coming to the first square of its natal position. Pluto has the effect of breaking down deep-rooted structures within and all those hidden limitations, negative beliefs and heavy emotions will bubble out of where you have been keeping them contained and seemingly under control. Power struggles come to the fore at this time and if you have issues with any aspect of power, you can be guaranteed that people around you will certainly provide you with the opportunities to deal with it. This could be something major or could be as simple as a stranger abusing you or subjecting you to road rage.
During this period of about 2 years many things will be broken down and destroyed within your life but only those things that needed to be changed will be changed. The first phase is the hardest because life as you know it suddenly shifts and you become aggressive towards the world resisting anyone or anything that tries to restrict you or force you to conform. Once the structure has been broken down, a period of regeneration and change takes place where most people begin to enforce their boundaries and to break out of restriction. Finally the final stage, a period of rising from the debris like a phoenix occurs where you begin to learn new ways of being and become more comfortable with your personal power.
Not everyone experiences the Pluto square in a negative way. Some people break away from restriction and achieve incredible things with their life at this time but this is sadly not a common Pluto square Pluto experience. Most of us have emotional baggage buried within and with the Pluto transit, all the places where you have carefully hidden it are discovered and laid bare so you have no alternative but to deal with it.
Close on the heels of the Pluto square natal Pluto comes Uranus opposing the natal Uranus. This is a time when you begin to question where you are in your life and considering your options. You think you are no longer young, yet you are not yet old and you start wondering what it is you want for the rest of your life. This transit can last up to 2 years as well so it is a period of considerable upheaval and uncertainty and particularly a period where you are extremely restless. The urge to break out of the mould you have built around you becomes very strong and the more resistance you encounter the stronger the urge becomes to break free. The desire to try something different also becomes very strong during this time and you often encounter people from different backgrounds, cultures and intellect passing through your life influencing decisions that you make at this time. Anything that is not working for you after the Pluto transit will most certainly come unstuck during this transit and usually relationships become casualties. Too often people “jump ship” and grab onto something new in the hope of rejuvenating themselves and sparking up the senses often burning bridges as they go.
After the transit is over, there is often regret to be dealt with as you come to terms with hasty life changing decisions that you’ve made during this period of being out of control. When the Pluto and Uranus transits occur around the same time you experience a clash of power struggles and the need to break free of restriction and often this will play out in the form of a very messy relationship break-up. Any new relationships that are begun under this influence usually are doomed and generally end when the dust settles after the transit is over so it is always wise to leave any life altering decisions until after the transit has passed and you really know what it is you want for your life - while in the meantime, keeping all bridges open just in case you need to include elements of your old life in your new life. A note to singles out there who meet someone who is newly separated and around this age – avoid them like the plague because you will become a casualty of their break for freedom. What they think they want now is not what they will want when they come out the other end and you will become a symbol of a transitional period that they don’t want to be reminded of.
If the Pluto and Uranus transits weren’t enough to turn your world upside down, Neptune also joins this party and forms a square to the natal Neptune position. This transit also lasts for around 2 years. The Neptune transit adds fuel to the Uranus transit and really clouds your judgement. The desire to escape from reality becomes strong and what you feel and see around you is not necessarily the way it actually is. It is the Neptune influence that causes people to throw caution to the wind and start a new life. The energy, if harnessed well though, can also bring incredible creativity and insights and any positive goals and plans that are created during this time can actually bring you huge benefits. Many people tap into their spirituality or find that they have latent psychic abilities. Others discover talents that have lain dormant for years.
At the moment, it is the babies born between 1969 and 1971 that are going through this life “enriching” period. This group will also have to contend with a Saturn/Uranus opposition at the same time as their Uranus square which will bring in a feeling of restriction and being blocked from doing what you want to do which could tend to make many feel very frustrated. Hold on tight because the next couple of years are really going to challenge you in many interesting ways because not only will you be challenged by the energies of Pluto, Uranus, Neptune and Saturn, you also will have Jupiter coming along to join the party. At its best, it will allow you to get your foot out any doors before they slam on your foot, but at its worst, it will expand whatever is going on in your life at the time of the transit and if you are in the middle of chaos, then it will expand that chaos and create even more dramas for you to contend with.
For those of you right in the middle of the mid life crisis turmoil or are coping with a partner who is, then for the moment, just take a deep breath and go with the flow because it will pass eventually. Give the person going through this period some room to kick about a little because if you don’t they will surely rebel against any perceived restrictions. The important thing to remember during the mid life crisis period is not to make any rash decisions that you may later regret because energies are considerably heightened and you may not necessarily have your hands on the controls of your life.
On the other hand if you have been wrestling with a life changing decision for a very long time before this period begins, then this is the time to take a leap of faith and go for it. Jumping of a cliff (figuratively speaking of course) can be a very liberating experience and not knowing exactly how or where you are going to land certainly brings you alive again with new opportunities and new choices but be sure to hold on to the best of what you already have in your life because until the dust settles you really won’t know what your new life is going to bring.